Tommy McHugh
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The empty chair


The empty chair fills me with despair no one is sitting there
The empty room fills me with gloom till black rose blood bloom
The empty bed my love is dead where loving words were once said
The empty clothes do make me cry costumes of a time gone by
My empty heart cannot restart love has gone away
I am split in two, these words are true
As I empty myself of you………




Open up let me see


Open up let me see
What your heart does hold for me
Speak to me honest and be true
As I confess my love to you
Again open up let me see
Your feelings the love you have for me
Let yourself go now be free
As loving you I do see
I am open naked bare
No secrets behind this skin I wear
I give my all to you
Total love total true
Open up let me see
The love inside you have for me
You are true we will grow strong
Hearts beating in unison creating the lovers song
I love you cannot write anymore
You became a stranger to this our door




I am climbing the mountains...


I am climbing the mountains inside my mind

Slipping and sliding walking blind

I sense understanding is waiting there 

Inside the chasms of mystery under my hair

I am endlessly climbing to reach the Tor

As I sit writing this on my living room floor

An avalanche of emotions waters my eyes

As yesterdays memories become clouds in the sky

The wind is blowing the Tor is near

Understanding is close I have no fear

Here we go can’t wait to see 

What reaching the top will reveal to me

Slipping and sliding walking blind

I am climbing the mountains inside my mind





My heart was broke...


My  heart  was   broke  I  know  why

Because   so  hard  to  understand  did  I  try

I  am  out  of   touch  with  this    world  I   now   see

My  past  image  reputation  alters  your  reality  of   me


All  enter  inside  me  it's  not  hard  anymore

There  are  no  locks  my  mind  is  an  open  door

I  keep  trying  to  stay  positive  alive   inside

Feeling  no  emotions  nothing  left  to  hide

I  live  alone   a  daily  survival  game 

Enduring  isolated   stressful   unknown   mental  pain

Alone   isolated  stereotyped  maybe   just  like   you

All  you  read  above   below  is  me  my  true


Lots  of family   dead  now  friends  some  in  tragic  ways

Tears  did  not  fall  from  this   programmed   macho   gaze

I  know   for  me   where  it   all  went  wrong 

To  survive  as  a  child    I  had  to   be   strong


Now  I  am  older   the   pain   of   my   past  does  ease   and  go 

Tears  often  fill  my  eyes  an  experience  a  natural  emotional  flow

Its  easier  now  for  me  to  cry  and  grieve  this   way

Enjoying  open  feelings  emotions  different  every  day


I  do not  hurt  anyone  or  anything  alive 

I  am  the  lonely   butterfly  in  a  wasps   hive

My  worlds  have  often  crashed  in  the  endless  pits  below

But  now  to  begin  again  from   nothing  from   zero


Now  I am  at  the    age  of  fifty  three

I  reveal  memories  that  come  to  me 

Lots  of  my  friends  have  come   and   gone

Can  this  be  my    time  to meet  the  real  Tom

I  am  changing  learning  more  relaxing   ways 

As  it  will  be   in  ongoing  future  days 

Somewhere  inside  I  am  beginning  to  know 

That  I  am  stronger    now  it’s the  time  to  let  go 


My  damaged   past   that  lives   inside  of  me 

Was  created  long, long before  my  open  eyes  could  see


Again  it  grows  within  me  it  was  my  childhood  time 

Learning   the  experience  of  fear  paranoia

And the  mental  walk  on  the  suicide  line 

People  friends  would  always  say

Pull  up  your  socks  Tom  you  will  be   okay 


So  again  I am  learning  wanting  life  to  be  alright

Once  again  I  be  alone   but  onward  do  I  fight

Wanting  all my  future  to  be  happy  sunny  light 

Pain  mental  physical  is  in  us   all

Never  it  seems  to  finally  go

It's   shelved  in  brains  memory  room

As  we  live  in the  positive  flow

I  do  forget  what  Tom  I have  been

As  I  move  on  forward  with  daily  future dream

Being  honest  letting  all   I  meet  and  see 

This  Tom  the  opening  changes  that’s  happening  to   me 

Death  does  not  frighten  me  anymore 

We're  seeds   of   seeds  created  below  the  atomic  score

My  opinion  thoughts  I  never  had  before 

My  mind  is  becoming  more  open  there  is  more  to  say

Read  on  why  not    you  could  in  this  play


I ask  myself   to   move  on easier  life  will  I  get

Making  me  happy   fortunate  I am  not  losing  that   yet

Sporadic  days   the  black  spot  is  in  my  open   palm 

Memories  of  past  events  now  no  mental  harm  


When  my  head  is  sore  with  troubled  split   brain 

I  accept  and  learn  survival  with  mental  confusing  strain

Still  I  walk   on  learning how  to  live  with  this  my  new  life

Walking   head  raised  accepting   fates    knife 

                   STILL   I    PONDER    

                        WHAT  MAN   I   AM...




Copyright (C) Charles Main-Brackenridge 2012 - 2020